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## This Post Brought To You By...

There are products... and then there are products. Here are the ones we recommend.
Although, sad to say, we couldn't get any of them to pay us for the placement.

## ...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING, UM, A LITTLE DIFFERENT

## Marshmallow Cloud

## Alka-SALSA

Do you love spicy mexican food, but always seem to get… ugh, heartburn?
Why wait until you start feeling that burning sensation to try to relieve it?
Get proactive and dip those chips into Alka-Salsa, the delicious new mexican-style sauce that cures the burn at the same time as it creates it!
In "Mild," "Medium," "Hot" and "Holy Crap Why Did I Put That In Mouth?" Alka-Salsa is every spicy food lover's dream.
New Alka-Salsa, open up and say "ahhhhh."

## Algorithm & Blues

VARIOUS ARTISTS - (2013)
While the late 80's saw a huge influx of electronic drum beat music, it wasn't until 2011 when an eclectic subset of it, mathematically correct music, found it's audience. Although it isn't for the casual music fan, this collection of 15 jams from the favorites of the subgenre is sure to resonate for anyone with a head for precise kinetic energy.
Featuring the now all-too-familiar "(Let's Get) Quantum Physical," by Sir Isaac Newton-John, it also compiles some of the lesser known adherents to this sound.
Atom Smash Mouth deftly blends religion and science in the ultra-danceable "Noah's Quark," The incredible String Theory Band discovers a "Black Hole In My Heart," Gone Fission gets the corpuscles pumping with "This Magic Momentum." and the all female group The Fermilab Four start an endearing chain reaction on "To Cern, With Love."
Plus the softer grooves of the group Einstein's Brother make waves with their regional tear jerker "I Love You, Relatively Speaking,"
Mathematically correct music's time has come and with any luck it'll be gone at the speed of light, so take your DNA to wherever it is you get your music from these days before entropy sets in . - allthemusic.com

## Pope On A Rope

Wash those sins away with new Pope on a Rope Soap!
What better way to celebrate Pope Benedict XVI's time as head of the Catholic Church.
He's not pope anymore, but he still can attend to your most personal needs. Rub this likeness of his holiness over your skin and soul stains disappear like magic!
Scented to bring back those memories of Frankincense and Myrrh wafting through the church of Sundays past.
Plus embedded inside every bar is a little pope staff just like the one he carried. When you've used up the soap, you'll have it to put on your key chain to remind you every day of the intimate time you spent cleansing yourself with the pope… on a rope... soap!

## Napalmolive

## My Little Ponee Glue Sticks

My Little Ponee Glue Sticks! The fun adhesive that prepares kids for the harsh realities of the real world.
Adults already know British beef burgers and tacos aren't the only place you'll find horses, and your kids will thank you… eventually… for letting them in on it.
As the tasteless old joke goes, "What do winning jockeys whisper in their horse's ear? Roses are red, violets are blue, horses who lose are made into glue." Funny? No. But truthful? Pretty much, yes.
All the info your little one will need to get a grip on the equine world is printed on the back of each and every package.
So give 'em My Little Ponee Glue Sticks, and they'll be stuck… on the fun of learning!

## WTLK - Small Talk Radio

Tune in for:
“Hospital Stays and Visits”
(weeknights, 7-10pm)
“Getting Directions”
(mid-days, 11am-2pm)
“Food Allergies”
(Sat @4pm, replay Sun @2pm)
“How ‘bout Those Cubs?”
(after every game)
“Driving Stories”
(overnights)
“Hot Enough For You?”
(summers at 3pm)
“Does This Look Swollen To You?”
(on the 1’s)

## Beanyes!

Now you can have complete control over your gastronomic system, or anyone else's with New Beanyes!
One drop on the first bite of a meal or one tablet just before eating and anyone becomes a back door orchestra of below the belt sound.
Arguably the most famous practical joke ever invented is the whoopee cushion. But as soon as someone sits on it and discovers the prank, the joke's over. Not with Beanyes, once ingested your target is in for a full night of giggle inspiring trumpeting, tortuous tooting, and subatomic blasting!
And while it's clearly useful for every adolescent to adult prankster, its also made for anyone who just likes to go with their gut feeling, because "letting one rip" can be the ultimate declaration of freedom.
Plus, time it right, and your discussion ending opinion on anything will be heard!
Ahhhh, Beanyes… because gas isn't a four letter word. Phhffutt!

## POLy-Cotton Candy

New Poly/Cotton Candy!
Instead of pure sugar, poly/cotton candy is spun from a blend of sugar and Splendida®, the new artificial sweetener made from scientifically natural… uhhhh… stuff!
Poly/Cotton Candy holds its shape bite after bite, costs a lot less than its name-sake and won't spoil anyone's dinner with a lot of useless calories.
Plus all the lab tests we've paid for show only a slightly long list of side-effects occurring so far!
New Poly/Cotton Candy, they'll never know the difference... at least not for a good long time.

## Jelly Beans & Franks

New this Easter… Cambell's Jelly Beans & Franks!
It's tough during the Easter season to get kids to eat anything other than candy, so why fight 'em?
Cambell's Jelly Beans & Franks gives them what they want, while making sure they still get enough protein to keep 'em running strong!
And adults like 'em too!
Jelly Beans & Franks… Happy Easter, from Cambell's!

## Circus Peanut Butter

New Smecker's Circus Peanut Butter.
That famously fluorescent orange, peanut shaped confection is now available in a convenient spread!
Use it just like peanut butter in cookies, cakes, Asian dishes and, of course, peanut butter sandwiches. No need for jelly, this stuff is saaa-weet!
And if you've got peanut allergies… rejoice! This jar doesn't see anything like a real peanut anywhere in the manufacturing process.
Circus Peanut Butter is a whipped blend of high fructose corn syrup, gelatin, sugar, food dyes and artificial flavorings, all working together to give you that special chemical "banana" taste you've come to know and love.
Mmmm, Mmmmm.
New Smecker's Circus Peanut Butter, kids love the taste, adults love the nostalgia and we love the profit margin.
With a name like Smecker's, it has to be food.

## Stuff

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