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## TIM'S DAD STORIES 09/24/2013 0 Comments My name is Tim and I love my Dad so much I try to remember all of his best stories so I can tell them to you and you can tell them to some others. Today's story is about the time my Dad traded in a Ford for a Chevy and had some whitewalls thrown in because he knew how much my mom loved whitewalls. We used to have a Ford Galaxy 500 that my Dad liked to drive to work because it made him" feel like he had a couple of dollars in his pocket." I don't know how a Ford product makes you feel like that, but this is my Dad we're talking about and he knows a thing or two about dollars in pockets because he's probably been a thousandaire about a zillion times over. Anyway, my Dad knew when to trade a car in because all the lights would go off "like they do the first time you try to make a break for it in the prison yard." My Dad knew he wanted to trade in the 500 for the new Chevy station wagon, because he wanted to " see the world today in a chevrolet" as the song says. I guess my Dad's idea of the world is Janesville, Wisconsin because that's where we went for a weekend of fun that included a heated swimming pool, an ice machine that was only slightly colder than my Aunt Amanda, and a phone number from the girl at the front desk that my dad needed in case he wanted directions back home or something like that. The best part was my dad got a set of whitewalls thrown in for no extra charge because nobody in McHenry County wanted to be caught dead with them because the "whole place was crawling with more crackers than a soup kitchen" according to Dad. The car lasted a whole year before the engine blew out and we had to hitch hike home from Janesville because the lady at the front desk "didn't want to play this game anymore". Whatever game that is, the only thing I know is that my Dad had a cool car, a great excuse for getting a Pontiac and another story that I could tell you all about today. Next time, my Dad gets in a fight with the neighbor and he was a she. I hope you liked this story it sure took a long time to tell. Add Comment ## tim's dad stories 08/14/2013 0 Comments Hey, everybody, I forgot about another story about my Dad and the time that he gave a friend money and never got paid back. My Dad knew his friend Jack needed some cash to pay for his Old Grand Dad and some other family member who was named Annie Greensprings. I don't know who named her, but she sure was popular with my Dad's friend Jack. Anyways, my Dad gave him 200 dollars and told him to pay him back or never show his face in town again. He never showed his face in town again. I guess he didn't have the 200 dollars or "the cheese" as my dad calls money sometimes. You'll never guess what happened to that 200 dollars. It was given to Jack's Old Grand Dad. See, everything turned out great. My Dad's friend got to help his poor Old Grand Dad and My Dad got a c;hance to help his friend move out of town forever. My Dad wins again! Add Comment ## tim's dad stories 06/14/2013 0 Comments Hey, everybody, Tim here with another super cool story about my Dad or as I like to call him The World's Greatest Dad Ever! This is about the time my Dad took us to the Wisconsin State Fair and got us in free because he knew somebody in security "who owes your father a favor". I'll say! We got to ride the rides, eat a corn dog, laugh at this fat lady who had a girdle, see a clown get arrested and taken away in a police car with full sirens on, and watch a show that had some really funny guy who fell down and made monkey sounds. I'm pretty sure the funny guy was maybe a funny monkey. I couldn't tell! That's how much fun we had. And my Dad got to get a Popiel pocket fisherman and something he called " a cut of the door", whatever that means. Even my mom liked the Fair because she bought a candle and didn't tell my Dad to stop looking at the waitresses, which she usually does. Killjoy Mom! So anyway that's the story of my Dad and how we got into the Wisconsin State Fair for free. It's a true story and I wouldn't say that unless it was. Oh, and also, the whole family got invited back to the Fair the next year as long as the man my dad knew in security was something called square with my Dad. My Dad wins again! Next time, my Dad buys a bar that has ladies with money growing out of their shirts and this pole in the middle of it that is a total blast to swing around on. Just ask the ladies with money growing out of their shirts. Add Comment ## TIM'S DAD STORIES 05/06/2013 0 Comments Hi, everybody. I forgot to tell you the story of how my dad once dropped us off in a really bad part of Chicago and made us walk through that place while he parked the car. We were going to see the Chinese New Year Parade and it was fun because this one guy had to take a pee on a telephone pole and I was pretty sure it was not part of the parade. Anyway my Dad did find a parking spot that was only seven blocks away and we all watched the parade and everyone went home happy and didn't say a word in the car for the entire trip home. My dad wins again! Next time I will tell you how my Dad's friend showed up drunk at our house and fell down in some grass. I promise you it's funnier than it sounds. Add Comment ## Tim's DAD STORIES 03/01/2013 0 Comments Once my dad married five women in five different states. He got a free police escort to the state borderline. Free. That means it didn't cost anything. My dad wins again! The end!!! If you want to ask me anything about my dad just see me at school and I'll probably have some other amazing story about my dad because he is the best dad ever, so there!!!! Next week: The time this lady called my dad and was really angry at him and I was told I wasn't supposed to answer the phone when that lady called and if I did to say that he wasn't home or something because she once tried to run my dad over with her car and it was really cool because it was a story that only me and my dad knew and my mom would never know anything about it because "it's just for us guys". That means it's a guy thing, mom. No girls allowed. That's a pinky promise. Add Comment